I am not doing this blog for me, but to help others. If you have PTSD or know someone that does I invite you on this life journey with me.. My first memories of trauma occurred at the age of 4 when I was being sexually abused. It was the first time I dealt with depersonalization. For those that understand what I mean by depersonalization, it means to feel detached from your body. As if you are floating above your body or watching things happen as if you were watching yourself in a movie.
I’ve had many traumas over the course of my life. I didn’t fully come clean with a therapist until 2014. I hid my symptoms for fear of being “crazy” I never knew someone non military could have PTSD. I have suffered in silence since I was 4. I had enough and finally told a therapist EVERYTHING that was happening. At that moment I was diagnosed with PTSD, which was also confirmed by my psychiatrist.
I am very open about having PTSD to raise awareness for those like me that have to battle every single day. We don’t need to suffer in silence, we are NOT alone!
I’ve been going through years of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and commitment therapy). I’ve been dealing with the Ups and Downs of being on different medications, I’ve had some that work, some that made me sick, some that made me gain weight, and some that landed me in a psychiatric hospital.
Every second of the day can feel like an eternity battling mentally. I try my best to push through so I can be the best Wife, Mom, Friend and Person I can be. Welcome to my life.