I went to my Psychiatrist appointment today super excited that any symptoms I had of PTSD have been healed. My Dr was stuck in traffic and a half hour late for our appointment. While I was waiting another patient of my Doctors came in. She went to the front desk to check in. The receptionist handed her a clipboard to fill out. The patient got a shock as she grabbed it. She leans in to the receptionist and says “Maybe shock therapy will work for me” laughing. She sat next to me looking for my reaction. I didn’t respond. Why? Because in a desperate attempt to keep my brother D alive and try and help his brain, they gave him shock therapy. I waited in the room with my Mom as my Brother was taken in. Anything that D experienced I did as well. We were so in sync with each other. I always KNEW when something was wrong with him, I even knew he died before my Mom told me. I was alone in the house, I sat down and downloaded “Daniel” by Elton John. I sat there CRYING hysterically looking at the sky. I felt it, he was gone. Due to the horrific living situation I was in me having a phone or access to one was banned.
I sat down to dinner at the house with the bastard that held me there. His phone rang. He spoke for a second and handed the phone to me and said it was my Mom. I felt sick! My Mom told me my brother successfully committed suicide. I knew it was true but didn’t want to believe her, so I called my sister in law my brothers wife. She confirmed he was gone. The time they put on the death certificate was the exact SAME time I sat in the room, downloaded “Daniel”
Back to today in the office, the woman that made the comment about shock therapy had no clue. No clue that I saw my brother after he had it done, he was disoriented and drooling. I had brought my book by Dr Henry Grayson with me to my appointment, excited to reveal all I’ve learned and that I truly believed the PTSD I had was gone. The woman asked me what I was going in for, a bit nervy but my chance to share what I learned from Dr Grayson book “How to use your body to heal your mind” for it was truly a miracle for me. I started telling her about the amazing experience I had, to be cut off with “I hope I get the right meds this time. I’ve battled this disorder since I was 27 and I’m 47 now. She totally disregarded the book on my lap could help her, even HEAL HER. Just then my psychiatrist calls me in.
Sitting in my Doctors office I’m super excited to share with her how I’ve HEALED. She asked me how everything was and I blurted it out “I truly believe the PTSD and DP I had is gone” gone after 33 Years. She was stunned and tried to throw a few things back at me to disprove it WASN’T. Well, I’m not one to battle with cause I’m Sicilian, I’ll always win! She listened to me carefully and said “I don’t want to say your PTSD is fully gone just yet, but you’ve had amazing healing for sure” I also have OCD. Then she says “PTSD is healed mostly through therapy, BUT OCD doesn’t respond to therapy so I’ll need meds for life” I was shocked. Really? The past 33 years PTSD has been the most debilitating thing for me. NOT the OCD!! Before I started any sort of meds it was the PTSD and depersonalization that haunted me. I took it for what it was worth. She printed me a script for lorazepam before I left.
It was such an eye opening experience, the woman at the Doctors office, and my Doctor herself. Henry Grayson states in his book “How to use your body to heal your mind” the LEADING CAUSE of death in the United States is MEDICAL INTERVENTION!!! Taking pills can help, but they are a band aid. People just want a quick fix any way they can get it. More than half of my life I’ve read endless books about PTSD,DP,OCD,Etc.. googled info.. Dug up any info I could and studied it! I have been told by 2 previous therapists that I “know more than them” after that shocking revelation I went digging I FINALLY found a therapist, one that I longed for, I KNEW she could help me and she has and continues too. After meeting her, learning of Dr Henry Grayson, and having my PTSD healed I have finally realized the dream I want to pursue is to become a therapist specializing in PTSD and anything that stems from it such as Depersonalization. After 33 years I put the puzzle pieces together. I got to where I am, being healed cause I was tired of the battle. I was tired of talking about it, reliving it EVERY SINGLE SESSION. Dr Henry Grayson states talk therapy does more harm than good, it makes those old wounds worse. I didn’t want to put my life in somebody else’s hands, so I didn’t. All my research paid off. I’m Free of PTSD and DP.