Letter To My PTSD

To My PTSD,

YOU stole 33 years of my life. 33 years I can NEVER get back. The first memory I have in life is you causing depersonalization within me as I suffered the first trauma..that I can recall. You wrapped the chains around my brain at that moment. You wanted to make sure I never forgot you..or lived without you. You caused fear, hypervigilance, flashbacks, triggers, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, etc.. I merely became a puppet, a shell of a person as you took over my life with your sick demented ways. When I felt the chains loosen, I had hope you were letting me go. But you only made those chains tighter. Like a horse in a reign, you controlled my every move, every thought, every step in my life.

I forced myself to go on in my life as you always stayed by my side…Waiting for your chance to ruin a perfect day, memory or mindset. YOU underestimated my STRENGTH. I made it though. In January 2016 you got your chains thrown right in your face. If what you put me through for 33 years will have me help others with PTSD, then it was worth it. You no longer control my life. No matter how many times you tried your best to debilitate me, I always rose above you. I have an amazing life now, more than I ever could have thought or imagined. You wanted me to be a statistic like my brothers. But losing them only made me fight harder. All my years of fighting you and trying to find treatments to make you GO AWAY have Paid Off. I am FREE!

No Longer Your Slave, LJ

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