On my worst days my medicine cabinet is my security blanket, my best friend. Desperate to feel less depressed, less anxious, less compulsive I have a bottle to make it all go away..even for at least a few hours. I am not advocating any kind of medicine use. I don’t think anyone reads my blogs so I am here to vent, rant, when I feel hope is going to run out. This is my experience, thoughts and feelings.
I find comfort in using certain medications to help numb me. Like when someone has a broken leg they need to be off it to rest for a while..same thing for your brain when it is injured. Taking a sedative is not to get high for me, its to hush my brain for a while to let it rest. Sometimes I feel to drained to fight mentally to the point that my brain blanks out on techniques I have learned to help me.
On my worst days I need to be alone, snuggled up with a blanket while listening to songs on youtube that help express how I feel. No words can pull me out of a downward spiral, I wait for the sedatives to kick in so I can fall asleep. My days vary, when they are good they are amazing..when they are bad my brain is downright tormenting. Some days my best friend is a pill I put in my mouth despite the countless side effects.
Tomorrow is a new day..it HAS to be better..